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Archive for the ‘Stamps Happen’ Category

It’s taken me a while, but I finally have the evidence those of us on the Naughty list need. There had been rumors that Kelly (aka Shirmcat) had obtained her list of Naughty People by fraudulent means.

Being a Texas native, I contacted the Texas Rangers to find out the truth. They also had heard the rumors and were deeply distressed that a New Yawker would malign a Texan and give false info to another Texan (Jenn Balcer). They asked me to go on assignment to investigate. I was sent to the North Pole where the rumors originated and what I found was shocking, I tell you SHOCKING!!!

An elf who cannot be named (and is now in the witness protection program) had managed to snap this unretouched (ok, it’s a little touched) photo of Shirmcat holding these characters hostage. At gunpoint, they were forced to name names and falsely accuse the people on the now infamous Naughty List. (The gun was later recovered and found to be a toy stolen from a Lone Ranger play set.)

You can see for yourselves, all these poor characters being made to stand w/ arms raised and in fear of the really tall and scary looking Kelly, disguised as a Dolly Mama. The Texas Rangers now have her on their wanted list and the sketch of Kelly is now posted throughout the country. It won’t be long before she is apprehended.

Her motive is still unclear, but it is believed that Kelly wanted to make sure she received the best goodies at Christmas. When contacted, her family was not surprised and stated they always knew she would end up in a striped jumpsuit.

Stamps: Stamps Happen, the rest is clip art and images cut from a bag
Paper: white, dp (DCWV Christmas stack), red
Ink: AP coal
Accessories: clip art, bag, stickles, foam tape, markers

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February 2019
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